Rule the roost with Mama Rock's Rules

When I found out that Rose Rock's new book, Mama Rock's Rules was being offered by Parent Bloggers Network for a review, I jumped at the chance. I am a huge fan of her son, comedian Chris Rock, and I thought that this book would be side-splittingly funny. I thought it was going to be a goofy, joke-filled diatribe about the trials and tribulations of being a mother.

Boy, was I wrong.

What I found, instead of the schtick that I expected, was an engrossing book filled with Rose Rock's advice for raising good, solid kids into responsible adults. Filled with anecdotes about her own experiences with a parent, the book is heartfelt and poignant without being sappy - you can tell with every page that Rock wrote this as a labor of love and as a testament to her family of birth children as well as 17 foster children.

Rock believes in raising children with a firm but loving hand. She advises against becoming "friend" instead of "parent", but also counters that with advice geared toward making children feel loved, admired, and proud of themselves as individuals.

Each chapter covers a different topic ranging from family traditions to sex - and at the end of each chapter, a summary of the topics is provided. Peppered throughout the book are quotes from her children and foster children about things they remembered from childhood and how their parents' love and discipline molded them into the people that they are today. Interestingly, although references to Chris Rock are sprinkled throughout the book, Rose Rock pays homage to all of her children and their individuality and you can sense her pride in their accomplishments.

Rock encourages parents to keep constant contact with their children. As busy parents, it's our duty to make sure we are there for our kids by having family dinners and attending special events in our children's lives even if we have to juggle things around to do it. In her opinion, children remember those things way more than a toy they bought or a TV show they watched once. Her description of their kitchen in their home, with all of the kids doing homework at the kitchen island while she cooked dinner, is just as clear as a photo in my mind.

One of the other sections that I enjoyed was discussing sex with your children. Her advice, "don't lie down with anything you don't want to live with forever" is advice that everyone can take! But she believes that keeping an open and honest dialogue with our children is essential in keeping them on the straight path not only with sex, but with all aspects of their lives.

Rose Rock deals out her parenting advice with humor, love, and pride. Mama Rock's Rules is a great book for any parent to read and would make a great gift for Mother's Day! Check it out at Amazon.com, and make sure that you stop by Parent Bloggers Network to see what other reviewers have to say about this book!

Hey June, it's okay to cut yourself some slack

When Monkey Man was about 18 months old, I remember spending one night obsessing over making the perfect heart-shaped brownies for his preschool class, complete with lightly tinted pink frosting and a chocolate heart placed on top. Each one had to be perfect, you know...so perfect that I think most of the kids licked the frosting off and turned the rest of the brownie into microscopic crumbs that they're still probably trying to get out of the carpet in that classroom. Oops.

Then there was his Halloween party in the 3-year-old class, where I spent two hours making cupcakes that looked like spider webs complete with little piped-on spiders. Again, icing was a big hit and more crumbs. I hope they had a good vacuum cleaner handy.

So other than an obsession with baked goods, I consider these just a few small examples of my effort to be SuperMommy. Minus the cape, because capes make my butt look big. I never wanted to be a stay-at-home mom - it's not me, not my style. By the end of my maternity leave, I was climbing the walls and ready to tie some bedsheets together so I could get back in the trenches again. And I felt awful. Guilty. Ashamed. What mother drops her child off at daycare on her first day back to work and happily walks out the door on her way to work? Um, me.

So when I was asked by ParentBloggers if I would be interested in reviewing a book about parenting, I hesitated. I'm not a "self-help" book type of person. Heck, I barely touched the "What to Expect" book when I was pregnant. Then I read about this book and was instantly taken with the subject and practically fell over my desk trying to get to my email and request a copy.

Even June Cleaver Would Forget the Juice Box, by Ann Dunnewold, tackles the battles that many mothers face - we overschedule, overprotect, and overparent our kids to the point that we're doing ourselves a great disservice. Dunnewold explores the idea of being a "perfectly good parent"; you don't have to be perfect at everything, it's okay to cut yourself some slack and live by the mantra that what you are doing is "perfectly good." Yeah, you might not have spent two days making a life-sized donkey pinata for your child's class party, but spending that time on coloring with your kid or going to their T-ball game will mean a lot more to your kids in the long run.

Dunnewold also encourages parents to show emotion around their kids versus trying to mask everything and make life hunky-dory all the time. It's vital that our kids learn that you can be mad and still love someone. It's okay to be sad sometimes, because life has disappointments. And it's okay to celebrate the little victories in life, too. Learning how to cope with these emotions are life skills that our kids need to know in order to be happy, well-functioning people.

Another part of "June Cleaver" that I found helpful was the discussion about competitiveness among parents. Heck, I remember after Monkey Man's entrance exam for kindergarten I must have gotten ten phone calls from other parents in the class wanting to know what his score was. And that irritated me. Yes, he did extremely well, but I don't measure his success by a number - nor do I want him compared to other kids as being better or worse than they are. Dunnewold explores overparenting and how we drag our kids to a zillion clubs, sports practices, and other things with the hopes that this will make them successful people. In reality, her belief is that we should let kids make their choices about what they want to do and not force them into things in order to fulfill our own needs of making our dreams come true.

I found that a lot of my own parenting philosophies were already outlined in the book - and I appreciated having a little confirmation that some of the things I'm doing aren't going to make me a bad parent nor will they have Monkey Man destined for prison or whatever. So when I decided to buy pre-cut canteloupe from the grocery store salad bar last week for his "fruit tasting" at school, I didn't feel guilty about it at all. Not to mention that we got to read two really good books in the time it would've taken me to disembowel enough canteloupe for his class. And that, in my opinion, is how I would rather spend my time as a parent - and Monkey Man will remember storytime long after he forgets that Mommy didn't spend all night cutting up fruit.

I also want to echo what some of the other reviewers have said in that Dunnewold has a really great reading list in the appendix, and I plan on checking some of those books out too.

So if you are feeling overwhelmed by the whole parenting gig (and really, who isn't from time to time?), check out Even June Cleaver Would Forget the Juice Box. I promise, you'll feel a heck of a lot better if you do.