Hey June, it's okay to cut yourself some slack

When Monkey Man was about 18 months old, I remember spending one night obsessing over making the perfect heart-shaped brownies for his preschool class, complete with lightly tinted pink frosting and a chocolate heart placed on top. Each one had to be perfect, you know...so perfect that I think most of the kids licked the frosting off and turned the rest of the brownie into microscopic crumbs that they're still probably trying to get out of the carpet in that classroom. Oops.

Then there was his Halloween party in the 3-year-old class, where I spent two hours making cupcakes that looked like spider webs complete with little piped-on spiders. Again, icing was a big hit and more crumbs. I hope they had a good vacuum cleaner handy.

So other than an obsession with baked goods, I consider these just a few small examples of my effort to be SuperMommy. Minus the cape, because capes make my butt look big. I never wanted to be a stay-at-home mom - it's not me, not my style. By the end of my maternity leave, I was climbing the walls and ready to tie some bedsheets together so I could get back in the trenches again. And I felt awful. Guilty. Ashamed. What mother drops her child off at daycare on her first day back to work and happily walks out the door on her way to work? Um, me.

So when I was asked by ParentBloggers if I would be interested in reviewing a book about parenting, I hesitated. I'm not a "self-help" book type of person. Heck, I barely touched the "What to Expect" book when I was pregnant. Then I read about this book and was instantly taken with the subject and practically fell over my desk trying to get to my email and request a copy.

Even June Cleaver Would Forget the Juice Box, by Ann Dunnewold, tackles the battles that many mothers face - we overschedule, overprotect, and overparent our kids to the point that we're doing ourselves a great disservice. Dunnewold explores the idea of being a "perfectly good parent"; you don't have to be perfect at everything, it's okay to cut yourself some slack and live by the mantra that what you are doing is "perfectly good." Yeah, you might not have spent two days making a life-sized donkey pinata for your child's class party, but spending that time on coloring with your kid or going to their T-ball game will mean a lot more to your kids in the long run.

Dunnewold also encourages parents to show emotion around their kids versus trying to mask everything and make life hunky-dory all the time. It's vital that our kids learn that you can be mad and still love someone. It's okay to be sad sometimes, because life has disappointments. And it's okay to celebrate the little victories in life, too. Learning how to cope with these emotions are life skills that our kids need to know in order to be happy, well-functioning people.

Another part of "June Cleaver" that I found helpful was the discussion about competitiveness among parents. Heck, I remember after Monkey Man's entrance exam for kindergarten I must have gotten ten phone calls from other parents in the class wanting to know what his score was. And that irritated me. Yes, he did extremely well, but I don't measure his success by a number - nor do I want him compared to other kids as being better or worse than they are. Dunnewold explores overparenting and how we drag our kids to a zillion clubs, sports practices, and other things with the hopes that this will make them successful people. In reality, her belief is that we should let kids make their choices about what they want to do and not force them into things in order to fulfill our own needs of making our dreams come true.

I found that a lot of my own parenting philosophies were already outlined in the book - and I appreciated having a little confirmation that some of the things I'm doing aren't going to make me a bad parent nor will they have Monkey Man destined for prison or whatever. So when I decided to buy pre-cut canteloupe from the grocery store salad bar last week for his "fruit tasting" at school, I didn't feel guilty about it at all. Not to mention that we got to read two really good books in the time it would've taken me to disembowel enough canteloupe for his class. And that, in my opinion, is how I would rather spend my time as a parent - and Monkey Man will remember storytime long after he forgets that Mommy didn't spend all night cutting up fruit.

I also want to echo what some of the other reviewers have said in that Dunnewold has a really great reading list in the appendix, and I plan on checking some of those books out too.

So if you are feeling overwhelmed by the whole parenting gig (and really, who isn't from time to time?), check out Even June Cleaver Would Forget the Juice Box. I promise, you'll feel a heck of a lot better if you do.